More general ideas and personal history

The last yeas has been a difficult transition for me and it is still not over. It probably never will be, that is the characteristic of an educated person.
I went from I-don't-care Agnostic-Atheist to strong vocal Atheist. That happened because I read a history of Greece course. Sure the Ancients fought over territories and resources and stuff but enter Byzantium and everybody was killing each other over whose brand of Christianity is "righter" and not to mention the destruction of the Greek-Roman religion. I freaked. About the Christians fighting each other, then. I thought "Don't they have anything better to do than to fight over the nature of Jesus Christ?" Only later I started focusing on the Hellenism-Christianity conflict.
So I was a vocal radical Atheist. Any mention of god(s) or religion was enough to make me say something nasty. But then I found out there are still people in Greece today who believe in the 12 gods. I was awe-struck! WTF? Of course at first I got mad. But then I thought about it a bit more and... I went to Greece and happened to witness one of their rituals at the Mycaene tomb of Atreus. It was amazing (the acoustics of the cone-shaped tomb is fantastic) to hear those people sing something in Ancient Greek (I only understood the names of the gods) in a circle. When I was trying to build up my courage to ask if I could join them the guides told us we had to go. So anyway, I did research. Got my hands on some of their material, watched some of the rituals on YouTube and I liked what I saw.
Back home I searched a bit and found out that these movements are not just in Greece. There are in the Slavic countries too and they are practically everywhere. Great, new research field for me! It is difficult with the Slavic religion because they have no written sources like the Greeks do. But anyway.
About 2 months ago I started researching Norse Polytheism. I have to say there are 2 gods in the Norse Pantheon that I like very much but the Greek side will always be closest to me.
So there I was, wondering if a Polytheist Atheist is an oxymoron. Sure, Pagan Atheist is not, since Pagans don't have to believe in deities. It could all be about a strong connection with nature. And that I feel too. I love nature and the idea of fertility and on top of all sex (which is the only thing that could ever be really sacred to me). Spring rains, green mountains, waterfalls... Well, we are products of this planet so worshipping Earth as a Mother(Nature) doesn't seem out of line at all to me. It is the Atheism-Polytheism issue I still have trouble with.
Since then, I have come to be a bit more accepting of... religion. But not dogma or blind faith.
Well, maybe this blog will be a way to try to sort things out too. That is difficult, since I know how many opinions there can be!